Okay?

Okay? A simple word I found myself saying daily. It was either "can you clean this mess up?" or "we are going to bed now okay?" Why am I giving my kids the option, why am I okaying? them. Why I am checking with them and asking them when there really is nothing to be asked. I feel into this trap once before, right around the time Liv was Eve's age now. And with Eve starting the terrible 2s I started reading parenting books for some inspiration, some ideas and to hopefully help and find ways to limit her tantrums. Right away I realized I was doing it again. I feel back into the okay? is it okay if I discipline you? The ambivalence with adding okay? or can you? to my statements must be so confusing to a toddler. "she said okay? or can you, well I don't feel like so no I can't" is what is often probably going through her head. Why did I fall in this trap again? I read this once years ago and it was like an epiphany to what my parent skills were lacking. Overall I think I'm a pretty good parent, but I have this problem with commanding authority over my kids. But I know I'm not the only one. This is so common today in parenting and I wonder why. I have no problems with my kids questioning me, I'm not for blind obedience to authority figures (google the Milgram experiment to see one huge reason why) but I do want obedience. I want my kids to respect authority, to be responsible and respectful to me as their mom. But I got back in this wishy-washy discipline and believe me my kids noticed and took advantage. Its so hard all the mixed messages our kids see and hear daily I don't want my parenting to be another. Yet as parents many have a hard time correcting our children. Is it our own problem with authority? we are the authority and that is strange or difficult for us to grasp. Is it our need to be friends with our children? Is it our need to protect them from hurt and pain? All of this backfires, our children can be our friends, but we are parents first. We can not protect them from all pain and discomfort, nor should we. We need to expose them so they can deal when they are out "in the real world" The will be inept and not ready if we don't start at home. Exposing them to small trials and tribulations. This will help our children succeed in life, be happy and productive. Isn't that what every parent wants for their kids? Okay? will not get them there. When I opened my most recent parenting book and read this again recently I realize, I'm doing that, again. My own past problems with discipline and authority were again hurting me to be an effective parent. It was amazing the difference in one day of saying "I need you to clean that mess" instead of "can you clean that mess" They listened, no arguments. When Eve did argue she did eventually come around, without a major tantrum. Her tantrums have gone down significantly. This is a great relief to all of us since her tantrums are often epic. The world is overwhelming enough for a toddler, it must be such a great relief for her to know that Momma is in control and Momma is here and a secure figure for her to lean on and rely on. Being a parent isn't supposed to always be easy and fun and okay? is something I need to remind myself not to do. I am a strong, confident woman and need to be a strong confident parent for my girls. This will inturn help them become strong in who they are and confident and secure with themselves.

Weekly Menu

I've been told my menu planning is cute, quaint, and very Martha Stewart like. I don't think too many New Jerseyans take pride in homemaking skills. Its all very quaint to most people I talk with. But to me menu planning is a budget saver and time saver. I look at my board, I can see if I need to defrost anything, but mostly its okay this is easy no thinking about meals for the rest of the week. I sit Sunday nights and look at the circular, I plan my dinners and lunches around sale items. It saves so much time. The specific board I use I have not seen for sale again, online or at Target where I got it. Which is a shame because its so perfect but any white board or even a piece of paper taped to the fridge works. For this week our plan was Monday- Burgers Tuesday- Eggplant parm Wed-Chicken Milanese Thursday- BLTs Friday- Meatloaf Sat- Dinner date night (girls will have pasta Sun-Chicken roaster I will use the chicken leftovers for at least one more meal the next week and possibly for lunch.

Local Flavors

My garden is growing well, but some plants have been lacking. I should have eggplants and peppers by now but I don't even have flowers on my plants. This growing season got started late, heat waves, heavy rain and cool weather are not helping my warm loving plants grow to their full potential. So today I ended up buy an eggplant from a local farm. They had mostly stuff I am growing well, but I do get my corn from them. I don't really have to room for corn in my small garden. I love eggplant parmesan. It is one of my favorite meals and now I that I have perfected my recipe it has become my husbands too. There is one trick that makes the perfect eggplant parm. You need to salt the eggplants and let them sit to remove some of the water. This makes the eggplant cook nice and tender and that good Italian restaurant flavor that mine was always missing. I thought I could do with out salting to save on sodium, some recipes call for salting, some don't. But it does not taste right with out salting. I cut the eggplant thin, lay them on a plate,sprinkle the eggplant with salt, top them with a paper towel then top it with another plate to put pressure and help draw out the water. Let it sit for an hour. Next step is the frying. Get 3 shallow bowls, fill the first one with flour, the second one with 2 eggs, lightly beaten, then the third bowl with bread crumbs. Heat oil in a pan, have the oil come up maybe 1/8 or 1/4 inch. While the oil is heating dip the eggplant in the flour, then eggs, then bread crumbs. Fry them for about 2 min on each side, til golden brown. The place in a baking pan that has some marinara sauce on the bottom. Make a bottom layer with eggplant. Top the eggplant with marinara sauce, the fresh mozzarella cheese(local if you can find it). I also sprinkle some real parmesan cheese on too. Repeat the layers til you are out of eggplant. Bake covered in a preheated over at 350F. Bake 15-20, uncover and bake an additional 5-10 min til the cheese is nice a bubbly. Serve with pasta. I'm hoping soon to make this with my own sauce. Eggplant parm, one of my favorite local treats, from local sources.

Storybook Land

Last week we did our annual Staycation, our stay at home, daytrips, vacations. On one of our trips we visited Storybook land in South Jersey. For us its a decent drive so we had other plans in the morning. We also know no one who has been there before so we were a little apprehensive about making our whole trip about it. I can not say enough wonderful things about this place.

Its inexpensive, we also went on a Tuesday for 25% off. That is a huge plus to a family on a budget like ours. Last year we visited the Land of Make Believe and couldn't believe how expensive it was for such a little family place. Guess that water park jumps the price and of course you can't buy them separately. I was very impressed with how clean it was. The rides, the park (which is smoke free) the tables, restaurants. Everything was spotless. When we stopped for a snack there was someone right there to clean off the tables when you were done. There was very little wait on the rides, which is very important for little ones. They have these little "story" stations through out the park in addition to the rides. They will have a little house or something set up with a window on one side. Then you push a button and the story begins. The figures, which look like they are from the 50s, start to move and a brief synopsis of a classic story begins. Goldlocks, Sleep Beauty, Red Riding Hood, Snow White (which my almost 2 year old said was scary) and more. They are cute, kitsch little places to break up going on rides. The rides are perfect for toddlers, preschoolers and other kids up to around age 8. There is also a little splash pad to cool off in if you go in summer. It was a wonderful afternoon, that is really all the time you need to enjoy the park. Family owned and perfect for regular families looking to enjoy themselves.

Summer Treats

Its hot, steaming hot out here. Summer is in full swing and the heat is above 90 most days, with a nice dose of humidity mixed in. We are doing anything and everything to keep cool, playing with the hose, swimming, relaxing in the air conditioning, and eating lots of ice cream. I don't mind the occasional treat but I'm not a fan of it as an everyday thing. We have also been eating fruit bars and other pops. Most fruit bars contain a lot of sugar so are probably not the most healthy option either. Well I decided to stick a pop in a slice of watermelon, stick it in the freezer and give it to my kids as fruit pops. They love them and so do I. Its the easiest, coolest and a very healthy summer treat. Frozen grapes are also one of my fav ways to cool down, but the fact that they are lacking popsicle sticks they aren't as kid friendly or appealing. So frozen watermelon on a stick it is. Enjoy the heat.

Starting to Harvest-Zucchini Fritters Recipe

Today I noticed lots of small zucchini growing on my 2 plants. I find 2 plants given enough room to grow, produce more zucchini than we can even eat. Today I picked 3 of them for our first harvest that isn't lettuce.

I made one of the girls favorite side dishes, which Eve decided was her only dish, Zucchini Fritters. I very simple shred the zucchini and mix it with an lightly beaten egg, some bread crumbs and parmesan cheese. If I'm making a larger amount or using larger zucchini I use more eggs. Heat some oil in a pan. Take the mix and make small, 3-5 bites sized, pancake shapes and place them in the hot oil. Fry until golden brown, about 2-4 minutes. Turn them over and repeat. I like to drain them on a paper towel over a plate. Yummy yummy, veggies even the pickiest eater will eat. Can even be used as main vegetarian dish meal.

Perfect Growing Weather

While lots of the country have been dealing with extremes this season I have been lucky to have the perfect growing weather. Its been warm, but not hot and rainy with periods of nice strong sunshine. This has been a blessing for my garden, especially given the late start I got. We had late frosts this year so my plants were late in the ground and on top of that this was my first time growing from seeds and it took longer than I expected. I've been anxious for flowers on my tomatoes. They take so long to ripen and started so little in the ground I even bought one larger one from a local nursery hoping I might get some early ones. Well with this perfect storm of weather you now can't even tell the difference between the bought plant and the ones I grew. They are all growing so well. Even my little Jersey Devil plant that I have been so worried about. It was so tiny when I put it in the ground. I just hoped being in the ground it would take well and catch up. Its not as big as the other plants, but it is catching up well. Today as I was pinching off the little shooters in their "elbows" I noticed something that got me so excited. Flowers, little flowers starting on my tomatoes. I can't believe how excited I get from such simple things now. I can almost taste those Jersey tomatoes now.